I’m planning on seeing a couple of new movies this Valentine’s weekend – the reviews I’ve read aren’t particularly promising, but I liked the trailers, and I often find I don’t agree with the critics anyhow.  So, Winter’s Tale and Endless Love will most likely get my $ this weekend…

But in the meantime, I was thinking of the two very different love stories I’ve already seen so far in 2014, Labor Day and Her: the first taking place in the not-so-distant past, and the second, the not-so-distant future.

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in Labor Day – mainly because it wasn’t what I had expected.  I love Kate Winslet and James Brolin, so I guess for that reason alone, I thought I would really love the movie – but I didn’t exactly love it.  And after giving it some thought, I realized it was because the love story I had expected was primarily between Kate’s and James’ characters, but the love story I got – the central focus of the love story – was really between Kate’s character and her son.  Or more specifically, the son’s love for his mother.  He is the point of view character throughout the movie…and its really his story, in my opinion.  When I think of it in those terms, I think I like the movie better in retrospect.  I was aware early on in the movie of that feeling I get when I recognize a character (in a movie or book) as someone I could see being in my own life…and her son was that person – yeah, I could see having a son like that.  We could all hope to, really.  Someone who is protective, but observes us with love, recognizing we each have needs separate from one another…even though we may struggle with what those separate needs might mean for our own place in each other’s lives…

He was a good kid.  His was a good love story, that rang true for me.

In the movie Her, the story was a little more in line with what I’d expected, but my biggest takeaway was thanks to a comment a friend made about the movie, that caused me to re-evaluate what I had seen, and how I view the world.  In this love story, a man (Joaquin Phoenix) develops a relationship with the intelligent operating system of his computer.  Really – he even views the relationship as “dating”.  My friend thought the overall concept was very sad…but for whatever reason, I didn’t see it in those terms.  Obviously, our technology is developing to the point where we can have virtual relationships without ever meeting a person…but what will happen when such technology actually comes to pass and it becomes possible to have a virtual relationship with a true “virtual” being, as in this movie?

Is it possible to be in a love relationship with “someone” that we know isn’t real?  This movie addressed that possibility, and I say…yes, of course.

I mean, really, most of us have at some point been more in love with the idea of a person, than the actual person – that’s dating, right?  That may even be marriage for lots of us.  And then what happens?  We get to know the real person, and maybe they don’t meet our needs, as a result…we either work through it together or we don’t.

What if there was a way to engineer an entity that understood us always, was always there to listen and say the right thing, was always willing to put us first?  That had no needs of its own, only ours?  (Actually, in the movie, the operating system turns out to have its own needs, but that’s another topic – this movie had numerous points for discussion).

So the original question is – if it were possible to have this type of a “love” relationship…is that sad?  I don’t really think so…as a society we may be moving towards such a solution for some people.  It could be the perfect thing for someone who is never satisfied with any one person…who is always seeking perfection – or their perception of perfection, which the personalized computer programming could provide.  But that’s my cynical view – mostly, I think such technology could address loneliness.  How many people are out there with only the tv and/or the internet for company?  What if they could find companionship and a kind of “love” relationship in this manner?  Overall, isn’t this type of technology just a conduit for reflecting self-love and self-affirmation?

These were two very different movies, but both focused on love stories – Labor Day…more old-fashioned in content, viewing the needs of three people in a relationship; and Her…with only one person really “in” the relationship: a love theme as old as time, but presented in a very contemporary and thought provoking way.

If you like love stories, I’d recommend both movies (Labor Day and Her) – but approach each with an open mind.

Happy Valentines Day.

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